De Rossi Stupidity Not A Mistake: FIGC

Another week has gone by at the 18th FIFA World Cup, and there have been many more memorable matches. Not the least of which was the encounter between highly fancied Italy and the struggling USA, an eventful 1-1 draw that saw both goals being scored by Italians and the over dominant referee handing out three red cards. Yes, that's right- THREE. One of those went to Italian hardman Daniele de Rossi for a senseless elbow to the face of an American player.
It now appears, though, that there is more to this incident than meets the eye. At a press conference organized by the Italian Football Federation (FIGC), a spokesperson said that the incident was a deliberate ploy.
The spokesperson said, "De Rossi's actions were utterly deliberate, not childish stupidity as assumed. In major international competitions over the last few years, the Italians have suffered due to rash suspensions at the wrong time. Hence, this time we decided to use up our token act of stupidity in the group stage itself, to avoid paying a high price in the knockout matches. We also believe the incident will give the young man a great deal of confidence, for with this act he has emulated idols such as Francesco Totti."
This comes two years after De Rossi's Roma skipper Francesco Totti was suspended at Euro 2004 for spitting at an opponent. The same player was crucially sent off in controversial circumstances when the Italians were knocked out by South Korea at the 2002 World Cup. At Euro 2000, Gianluca Zambrotta missed the final after getting sent off for two lunges on Boudewijn Zenden in the semifinal against Holland. De Rossi's incident is just another in this historic list for the Azurri, and young Daniele will surely shed a tear reading this, proud that he can now be mentioned in the same breath as illustrious compatriots like Totti.
The spokesperson continued, "Given our recent history, we believe that by being rid of this burden- of having to commit one act of gross stupidity in the tournament- quite early on, we are enabling our team to justify its potential in the knockout stages, when it really matters."
The team has since qualified for the second round comfortably, and is unbeaten since master tactician Marcello Lippi took over two years ago. Their confidence is high, and the team looks set to go far. And now, with this move, Italy can play freely without fear of any traditional stupidity.
This is a bold move from Lippi, a tactic that may succeed or one that may fail terribly. At the moment, however, we can only applaud the man for this baffling tactic which has now left his team as even stronger contenders for the cup.
Elsewhere, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger appeared in court as the prosecution's star witness in an apparently obvious hit and run case. Against the odds, however, the case was dismissed, after Wenger's repeated refrains of "I zees not zee any incizent."

[I must apologise to the Azurri faithful for mocking the Italians in this post. Let me assure you, I intend nothing other than a little humour, and I too am cheering the Italians on in this World Cup. For me, the only good thing to come out of this unfortunate incident was that Gattuso got his rightful place in the Italian starting lineup.
As for the rest, I am not entirely sure this post is as good as its conceptions was, but I have nevertheless given my best, and would like to thank my friend Nabankur for his comments regarding the post.
As usual, comments are invited, and if you are not a Blogspot member, please feel free to comment anonymously.]